Breaking My Heart
by PenBrook
Summary: Sequel to Inner thoughts and Turmoils. Adam and Fiona's life after the incident. Can fate put them back together or is their life together unrepairable?
1. Shattered Heart Part 1

Author's Note: Hey guys, I'm back. So I got a really really good excuse. My computer got a virus and crashed my system. It took a while for it to get back and such so I haven't been able to write and all that. So I'm sorry about the long wait.

Here is the Squeal: Breaking My Heart.

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Adam

He didn't know how much time had passed. Minutes, hours, days or years? He didn't know and he didn't care. Either way his world was falling apart. Fiona had dumped him and that was that. No ifs, and or buts. Just the freaking truth.

The truth sucked.

From what he knew of it had only been a day or so since the 'incident' as he'd like to call it. He couldn't believe such little time had gone by. To him it felt like forever.

His extended members of the family had already left after that night. His mother was upset that the night had been ruined. She also felt bad for her son. She knew now that she never should have hidden her son behind her past daughter and was now suffering the consequences of her actions.

Most of his family accepted Adam, especially his grandmother. He did not see her leave but he knew she cared. It gave him small relief that she still loved him, regardless of gender. From what he could tell the only people who did mind were his cousin Ricky and his mother. Ricky's father wisely kept his own opinions to himself after he saw the damage his sister gave her.

When Drew had finally managed to drag Adam off the curb of where the 'incident' happened he began to ignore everyone and everything. He just shut down. The only thing that was keeping him alive was his shattered heart. He kept himself locked in his room of where memories flowed through his mind. Everything in it reminded him of her. He didn't know if it hurt more or less being surrounded by history.

Drew had tried to come in multiple times and talk to him but he had locked the door and didn't dare open it. He didn't want his pity. He just wanted Fiona back but he knew after this fuck up he wouldn't ever get her back. It was all his fault. He should have listened to his family and friend's pleas when they told him to tell her the truth before she found out for herself but he was a cocky bastard thinking he would handle it all when the time came. Well as they say Karma's a bitch or rather he was a bitch. He not only lied to her but he broke her. Perhaps worse than what he was feeling. Worse than what Bobby ever made her feel.

God should just kill him now. He deserved worse than death for what he did to her.

Time went by and as it so did his sanity. Being away from her for this long was cruel. Especially since they were not together.

After a few days moping and endless text messages and calls he sent being ignored he finally left his room. He was in it for too long and needed to distract his self and his aching heart and being in a room full of Fiona memories did not help.

He went into the bathroom and flinched when he saw himself. His hair was a mess with grease that one would find in Turkey, his face was all blotchy red, his eyes swollen and his breast showing more than he liked. He still had not changed out of Gracie's clothes since the incident nights ago.

When he walked down those stairs after re-fixing himself up his family gave out a gasp. He forced on a fake smile as he made his way into the kitchen and got himself out a bowl of cereal.

"You okay man?" Drew asked, breaking the barrier of silence between them all.

He swallowed as he gazed at his older brother and then gave him a shrug. "Fucked up." he said simply.

His mother didn't even bother correcting her son's language.

"She'll come around." he said confidently out loud, though inside he wasn't sure. This was a pretty 'fucked up' situation.

"Whatever." he muttered again. He didn't care about anything anymore. He quickly got up from his seat and went to the front of his house opening the door. "I'll be back before dark." he muttered as he slammed the door shut. He was grateful that none went after him.

He headed towards the dot, wanting to clear his head a bit. Sure he had days to do that but that was when he was an emotional wreck. At this point he was just a living corpse. No real soul. Fiona had been his soul but when he hurt her well, that soul died. He was just a shell.

He walked past the Dot Cafe where he spotted Clare and Eli inside. He opted to turn around but Eli had already spotted him and waved for him to come inside. He did regretfully. He gave them an upwards nod.

"Hey." Eli said, not really knowing what to say. Drew had called him a day ago telling him what had happened. Not only with Fiona but also with the parents. Brutal was all he could think.

"Hey." Adam responded gruffly. He wanted to leave already.

"Are you okay?" Clare asked with concern. She never saw Adam look this heartbroken before. She only knew of what Eli had told her. Fiona didn't call but she wasn't surprised since she _was _Adam's best friend girl...not including Fiona...well now not but you know.

"Whatever." he answered the same hallowy answer he had given repeatedly this day.

"You're one brave warrior." he said, giving a repeated quote he often used with Adam. "Fiona will come around." Eli said with assurance. He had seen the love between the two and swore he never saw something so deep. And he thought he and Clare had it bad.

The door to the cafe opened as he turned around to see Fiona. In simple terms she looked like hell, hell which he might add he put her in. Her hair was a mess compared to it's nice curls, no makeup was plastered on her beautiful face and her eyes had deep circles under them. Fiona looked up and took a deep intake. She turned to quickly leave, not wanting to get into this when he called out her name.

"Please, wait!"

"Leave me the hell alone, Adam, Gracie whatever the hell you are!" she cried. They all flinched at that name. Her back was towards him as she didn't want him to see her shedding tears.

"Hey, not cool!" Eli growled, sticking up for his brother. That was not cool at all. Clare just shook her head in sadness. How had they come to this?

"Fiona..." He whispered desperately, moving towards her but she ignored him.

"Fiona, he's still Adam!" Clare desperately said. "He was born in a girl's body but he's still the same guy you fell in love with!" she said with conviction.

"He lied." she stated simply. "I don't know who the hell he or she is anymore." she said. "I probably never did." and with that she left the cafe without another word.

Adam didn't bother going after her, of which Eli noticed.

"Why aren't you chasing her?" he asked.

He shrugged. "You heard her. She doesn't date girls. She's no lesbian."


	2. Shattered Heart Part 2

Author's Note: Sorry for the wait but this one was hard to write as I never wrote in her point of view before. There will be more Fiona moments though, rest assured.

Sorry about the grammer but I'm too lazy to find a beta to proof read.

Love and review!

~Penbrook

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Fiona had been basking in the glory of love. Drowning in it as much as she could. She couldn't believe that Adam Torres loved her. Loved _her! _Not just like or fantasize or any of that 'dream girl' stuff but truly loved her. It was an amazing feeling. She just couldn't believe it.

All of her life she had been the 'it' girl. The one guys wanted to date and the one girl's wanted to be. Rich, beautiful, smart, what more could a person want?

However, the down fall of that life was that she never knew true love. Yes her parents and her brother loved her but she was talking about the love that everyone searched for, the one that everyone wanted. She had thought she had it with Bobby but in the end it wasn't love, at least on his end, it was abuse. It hurt even more for the fact that she loved him. Perhaps still did. After all, he was her first.

When she met Adam he was not the type of guy that she would usually fall for but that didn't mean she didn't. At first she thought she would end up with Drew, Adam's older brother. He was cute, charming, and a pretty good jock where as Adam was quite, a bit of a geek and one who hanged with the 'loners' like Eli Goldsworthy and Clare Edwards. But there was also something about Adam that made her want him. He was different than other boys. He was 'really really nice' from what Drew said but there was something else, something she couldn't place her finger around. She would find out. She was determined to find out. She just hoped that the truth wouldn't kill them both.

When she first got asked out by Adam Torres she was skeptical. She had half a mind to just not show up. She figured he was just like any other guy who just wanted her as a trophy to show off but nonetheless she went and it was the beginning of their love.

But that love did not last.

Upon returning home early from New York, as she wanted to surprise Adam, she came to a surprise herself. She had entered the restaurant for a simple snack but instead her eyes fell face to face with Adam Torres, or at least that was who she believed he was. She couldn't tell as her boyfriend was a girl. She tried to reassure herself that it wasn't him but when a kid around their age asked Gracie who she was she just knew. She knew that this girl was her boyfriend. Hurt beyond despair she ran away from the scene.

Adam had followed her but she didn't want to be anywhere near him. She didn't know who he was anymore, or rather, who _she _was. Adam had tried to convince her that though he inhabited a female body his mind, emotions and actions were one of a guy. He wasn't Gracie but Adam.

She just didn't know what to believe. She had ended up leaving him in the parking lot as she went home tear struck.

The next few days went by both slowly and fast. She didn't know what time was anymore. Without Adam in her life she didn't know anything. Because her family was in New York she was alone in her condo. Part of her wanted to call Adam, Gracie, whatever he/she was to talk. Her heart truly wanted to but the logical side of her sided against it. Adam hurt her too much to be anywhere near him.

Way too much.

He broke her.

After recovering slightly, but not nearly enough, she decided to leave her home, hoping to take her mind off of him. It didn't last long as the first store she went in _he _was there, along with Eli and Clare. She mentally cursed herself for being so stupid. She should have known they'd be there. They were always there!

When they realized she was in the room everything seemed to freeze. Looking at Adam well, it was easy to say he wasn't the guy she fell in love with. He was a mess, simply put. If they were in a crowd she was sure she wouldn't be able to recognize him.

Adam had begged her to stay but her emotions were overloaded. She wanted to, truly she did but the hurt he caused her caused her to lash out, making her say something she knew she would later regret.

She left the Dot the minute she said that, tears streaking across both of their faces.

Her heart had completely shattered and this time she could only blame herself.


	3. Tears Cascading From My Broken Soul

**Author's Note: I. Hate. School**.

**And I really procrastinate so I'm sorry my lovely lovely readers. Please forgive me and thanks for reading this! I'll try not to take so long in posting. Real life is harsh on one who loves to write.**

**Please Review,**

~**Penbrook**

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The following days were hard on Adam.

Although he did not see Fiona at school, as they were two years apart, but it didn't make things any easier. Although most people knew what he was, most respecting it, not all did. Everyone knew that Adam and Fiona were in love and not seeing them together raised many questions. Most were courteous enough to mind their own business but one Owen Milligan knew no bounds.

"Hey freak!" he had shouted in the halls between fourth and fifth period.

Adam and Eli, who were at their lockers turned their heads to see Owen coming his way, flanked by Fitz and Bianca.

"Fuck off. I'm not in the mood." Growled Adam.

If not for the fact that Eli himself was pissed he would have laughed. The thought of Adam swearing was as ridiculous as Clare herself swearing.

"And why would that be?" Fitz mocked? "Owen? What do you think?"

Owen gave a dramatic paused. "Hmm, could it be that Fiona dumped your sorry ass?" He laughed. "Can't say I'm not surprised. All I'm surprised is that she waited this long. Why was the reason, she found out you got no _balls_?" he stressed. Adam glared. "Ya know, not that she's done with you she can go for a real man, like me...or if she really is a lesbian and all well, I'm sure some other freak wouldn't mind taking her in. Ya know?" He wagged his eyebrows suggestively.

Adam growled. "Don't call her that!" he yelled as he gave Owen a right hook who then in turn staggered back from impact.

"Why you little bi-" Owen started as he drove his fist into Adam, only to be blocked by Eli.

Eli twisted Owen's arm, slamming him into a locker.

"Back off!" Eli glowered. Nobody messed with Adam. He didn't wear black as just a fashion statement. "Everyone just chill!"

Owen glowered but nonetheless backed off. "You're dead next time I see you." he promised as he stalked off with his crew.

"You okay?" Eli asked with concern. He never saw Adam react like that. Sure he dished out of Owen, countless times, but never like that. He never held that much rage.

"I'm fine." he assured as he glared at their retreating forms. _Cowards, _he thought. "Thanks."

Eli shrugged. "No worries grasshopper." He paused. "Look, about Fiona, how you doing?" he asked with more concern than before. He knew Adam wasn't doing well, no matter how much he told otherwise.

It was Adam's turn to shrug. "I'm handling the best I can." he said. "Look I'm going to go to class. See you later." And with that Adam left.

Adam fumed as he made his way home after school, the memories of the fight still fresh in his mind. It wasn't that he was mad at Owen for the stuff he said about him. Okay he was but he was used to it. It was what he said about Fiona that made him riled up. Never before had he ever talked badly about her. Not even when they were dating, which was a perfect time to. He suppose Owen had just been waiting for the perfect time.

He hated anyone calling Fiona something bad. Even with her not there he would not stand for it. It hurt him to know that someone was hurting her. It hurt him more to know that he was hurting her even more. Oh how he missed her so.

Arriving home Adam dwelled in his sorrows. He dwelled in his pains. He just couldn't believe how low he had sunk. He felt worse than when he had been Gracie almost half a year ago, trying to please everyone around him.

Tears cascaded from his eyes as he swallowed. A hot burning feeling was felt as he pressed Gracie's hair pin into his cool and clammy flesh, trying to feel anything. Anything other than the emotional pain he was in.

If only Drew could see him now. How disappointed he'd be.

Adam pressed the hot metal further, causing him to gasp. He loved it. He hated it. He loved how it made him forget, hated how it made him weak.

He could never win.

Pain continued to erupt from his flesh as he lifted the metal from his burns. It lifted pieces of charred skin, causing him to hiss further as it was disconnected from him.

His worries were forgotten as pain filled his sense. He sighed in relief as he unrolled his sweater, stood up and placed the supplies back into his Gracie box. Although he was not her. He was her. He placed the box under his bed as he went to join Drew in the living room, a sad smile placed on his face, tears washed away.


	4. Drunken Contentedness

**Author's Note: Hey readers! So the new season of Degrassi came out. I was a bit surprised at first about Fiona's reaction to his secret but then remembered it's pretty common, even in Massachusetts. Why wouldn't it be in New York? **

**I felt bad on how she had to go to Rehab and such but was so proud of Adam putting her safety and concern over hers, and his own, happiness. I really hope they work all out. They are good for each other. I also hope that Eli and Clare work out. I just love the thought of them together, despite the previews. Wonder what will happen with Bianca and Drew. I sort of don't mind them together but do. After all, she did hurt Adam and such. Or at least, instigate it. Would have thought Drew would never go for her. Especially the boiler room the first time. Well, temptation does seize you and such.**

**Anyways, please review! Love you guys!**

**~Penbrook

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**She gulped, long and hard as the cooling hot liquid poured down her throat. Relaxation filled her as her feelings were pushed aside. Her hurt was buried within her as more liquid filled her. She continued the trend until the bottle was empty, setting it down as she wobbled to the fridge to get another.

Things had been hard for her this past week. From her breakup to now, she felt like she was in hell. Since her split with Adam everyone was either ignoring her, or pursuing her. (mostly the guys) Adam's friends didn't even glance at her when she passed them in the halls, all siding with Adam. It was as if their friendship was nothing. That Adam was the only reason they ever talked, which she wasn't surprised at really. Just hurt.

Before Adam, Fiona really only had Holly J as a friend. Although she was still best friends with the girl of whom she still hoped would become her sister in law, it was different. With student council and her own boyfriend Holly J barely had time for her anymore. The last time she saw her was when she cried into her shoulder the night after the horrible discovery. And then Holly J was once again unavailable. And then after, well, things went downhill.

Seeing Adam at the Dot had been hard for her. It had happened just a few days after the 'incident' and she wasn't nearly as ready to confront him as he had seemed to be. She knew yelling at him like that, in front of everyone, had hurt him deeply but she just couldn't deal with it. She still couldn't deal with it.

Taking another gulp she felt the last bit of her anxiety wash away. She felt better than she had in a long time, and she was glad. She had no worries about Adam and no worries about anything. Sure things were tough but for now, for now things were all good.

Finishing the last of her bottle she easily tossed it to the ground as she slumped more comfortably into her leather couch. For the first time in a long while Fiona smiled as she fell asleep.

The next morning she woke up with a splitting headache. She groggily glanced at the clock as she noticed she had just about half an hour before school began. She quickly sat up and immediately regretted that move as her forehead felt as if it were splitting in two. She groaned. What a hangover.

Looking down she saw three bottles of cheap champagne bottles. Humph, she drank more than she thought. She shrugged, oh well. At least she felt good.

Moving towards the sink she filled her water bottle with more champagne. If she was going to survive school she would need it.

School was it's usual affair. Normally people stared at her with disgust. Her, a beauty like no other, dating Adam. She could sort of understand why they acted that way, especially now. Before she would become enraged anytime anyone picked on him, and now, now she didn't know what to think.

To side with them, or not.

Now however, people looked at her with astonishment. Over the past months of being together they had gotten used to seeing them together. Guess the cat was out of the bag.

Thankfully no one approached her.

Turning her locker combination, Fiona turned her head to see Drew Torres walking over to her.

"What you want?" She asked bitterly. She so did not want the 'you hurt my brother - now I'll hurt you' speech. Besides, it wasn't even her fault!

Drew glared at her. "Well hello to you too," he retorted back, just as bitter as she. "You know, I thought you were different. I thought," he paused to think of the words, "I thought you really loved Adam."

"I did, until I found out Adam wasn't much of an Adam!" she snapped, hastily grabbing her books.

"He is Adam. Gender be damned!" he spoke passionately.

"You know," she threw her head back a bit, "why is everyone on _his _side? He was the one who lied, he was the one who kept his gender from me! I shouldn't even have to question his gender!"

"And you were the one who broke his heart!" he spat back before storming away from her.

Fiona sighed as she slammed her locker shut. She didn't bother looking into the eyes of those who had witnessed the show. Let them have their fun, who gave a damn. "He broke my heart too, but no one seems to care." she whispered, oh so softly as she took a large gulp of her drink. She felt contentedness filling as she walked in the opposite direction of Drew to her next class, no worries of their conversation whatsoever.


	5. Brother VS Brother

**Author's Note: So you've all been wanting some sun-shine to happen but I hate to break it to you, you can't have a rainbow without a bit of rain. But nevertheless it will happen - maybe. I'm still working it out.**

**A lot of you are hating Fiona, still, and I don't blame you. In a way I had imagined that response and it's nice to know that you care about Adam. I'm surprised though that no one really likes Fiona. You are also glad that Drew yelled at her and all that but to be fair, she's still hurt. You'll see just how much in the upcoming chapters. I can't wait! I really hope you enjoy this next one. I bet some of you will be surprised, and others won't. I stopped writing for a few days because I couldn't think of anything. I was about to ask you guys for your help before this thought entered my mind and then by the time I started typing, **

**I couldn't stop. So yeah, tell me what you think!**

**~Penbrook

* * *

**Drew knew that confronting Fiona like that was not the smartest of moves. But he couldn't help it. Coyne broke his little brother's heart and he could not stand for it. What kind of a big brother would he be if he just let things flow?

A living one by the looks of Adam.

"What the _hell _did you do?" Adam roared at Drew, stalking up to where he sat during lunch. Around Drew chatter stopped. Jenna and K.C. stopped their conversation about dippers to see a livid Adam, storming towards their co-captain.

Drew gulped but stood tall. "Look bro, I'm just protecting you!" he said in defense, crossing his arms.

"It's none of your business!" he yelled. By now the entire cafeteria had stopped their chatter, looking at their direction. Including one Fiona Coyne.

"Of course it's my business!" he fired back. "Anything to do with you is."

"Hell no it isn't!"

Drew sighed deeply. "Look Adam, she broke your heart and I won't stand for it." Fiona, from across the cafeteria, flinched.

"You don't have to. What happened is between me and her, not you and not anyone else for that matter." Drew opened his mouth to argue against that but Adam continued. "What you said was uncalled for. It wasn't her fault!"

Drew shook with anger. "Yes it was!" He cried. "Everything is her fault. You were doing so well before she came into your life. And now it's shit!"

"No it's not!"

"Yes it is Adam. Her ignorance killed you. You were doing great. You were happy but because of her she killed you. She's the one to blame for you burning yourself!" At that moment the cafeteria was dead. You could hear the frantic heartbeat of Adam. His face of disbelief told Drew that he crossed the line. The way Fiona stood up, tears and all, running out of the room, confirmed it.

Adam glared at his older brother, tears beginning to shed through his own eyes. "Screw you." He spat before running out of the room in shame.

Drew slammed his fist down in anger, shaking the table. He had screwed up big time, and now everyone knew it.

* * *

Eli and Clare ran out after Adam, knowing they were needed. Although they wholeheartedly agreed with Drew they knew that what he said was uncalled for. No one really knew about Adam's struggles with identity and acceptance but because of Drew's outburst, now they did.

They themselves were shocked about what they had heard. They knew that Adam wasn't doing well but they never figured it had escalated to the point of self harm. They knew they shouldn't had really been surprised but it didn't stop the shock and pain they felt for their best friend.

They found him in the gym, slamming his fist into a punching bag, sweat dripping heavily from his forehead. From the looks of it, the punching bag wasn't looking so tough.

"Hey. You okay?" asked Clare first. She had seen first hand what Adam had gone through. Although Eli knew that Adam burned himself in the past, he had fortunately never had to walk in on it.

"No." Adam said roughly, not pausing in the least as his fist drove into the bag.

"Want to talk?" She asked, not knowing what to say. Eli didn't say anything at all.

"No." he repeated, panting slightly at his starting exhaustion.

"Well-" She was stopped by a hand clasping her shoulder. She turned her head to see Eli shaking his, indicating for her to leave it.

He then pushed her lightly to the side as he walked up to Adam. He didn't wait to let him know he was there before he squarely punched him in the jaw, causing Adam to gasp out in pain, stepping back a few.

"What the hell!" roared Adam who was rubbing his bruised jaw. Anger flared in his eye.

"Punching the bag will do nothing for you." Eli said, raising his fist. "Fight me." He then punched Adam again, this time in the shoulder.

Adam growled in frustration. "Knock it off!"

"No." Eli said simply, continuing his assault.

"Fine!" Adam said, blocking his fist as he landed a punch into Eli's stomach.

Eli gasped, trying to catch his breath.

"Stop it!" Clare cried, not daring to get in the middle of it, however.

The fight went on for about ten more minutes, each landing their own share fair of hits. Eli however took most of the beating. It wasn't until he struggled to get back up that Adam stopped.

"You're an idiot, you know?" Adam panted, whipping the blood off the corner of his mouth.

"Yeah. But it needed to be done." Eli replied. Clare helped Eli to his feet.

"You okay?" Clare asked, worried. Eli nodded.

"You ready to talk?" he asked his best friend.

Adam smiled sadly, but smiled nonetheless. "No." he said, brushing past Eli and walking away.

"Well, that went smoothly." Clare said, glaring at Eli before she herself punched him in the spot where Adam had just hit.

"Ow." Eli winced but recovered. "Yeah, but it worked. We got through a layer. All we need is to get through a couple hundred more." he grimnced at the thought of what it would take to help him. "He's strong."

Clare shook her head at him. "You are such an idiot." she said.

"But I'm you're idiot." he said lovingly. She rolled her eyes but nevertheless kissed him.


	6. The Great Debate

**Author's Note: Hey, so yeah, new chapter. WHOOO! Love this one as it shows a lot of drama. **

**Please review and love! I worked hard on it. Please tell me what you think and any improvements I could make.**

**I'm happy that many of you are now siding with Fiona, as well as Adam. Honestly, both are the victims as much as the perpetrator. But that's just my view. Tell me your own.**

**~PenBrook**

* * *

Back in the caferteria

Drew groaned as he slumped down in his seat. He had fucked up and he knew it. He had fucked up big time. Everyone continued staring, half at him and half at the door where both Fiona, Adam, Clare and Eli had run off to.

"Wow." K.C. said after a moment of silence.

"Shut up!" Drew groaned as he tried to think over what he had just done. Not only did he insult Fiona big time but he had also outed his secret of self harm. No one other than a select few knew about that and now everyone would probably be giving Adam and probably even Fiona a hard time. Those who knew Adam well, who supported him, would probably be ending up mobbing Coyne before the end of the day. He may not like the girl but she didn't deserve _that_!

"So how you going to fix it?" Jenna asked, taking a munch out of her apple.

The cafeteria resumed to its full blast of noise.

"I don't know." he said with a heavy sigh. "I messed up big. This is not something that Adams going to forgive easily."

K.C. rolled his eyes. "Well, can you blame him?" he asked. "If someone talked badly about Jenna, I'd be pretty pissed too." Drew just groaned in response. "Man, you really really messed up big."

"I know I KNOW!" he shouted, and then clasped his mouth shut as all eyes were once again on him.

"Look, I don't think you really do know!" interrupted a voice from behind. There stood Holly J, hands at her hips, glaring at him. Drew gulped. "Look, Fiona is my best friend and Adam's not the only one hurt you know!" she said sharply.

Drew stood up, glaring right back at her. "It's Fiona's fault!" he argued back. "She's the one that broke it off with him in the first place. Her stupid narrow minded mind!"

Holly J just merely rolled her eyes. "You think that the blame is to be put all on her?" She scandalized. "Look, I know Adam was hurt and all by this but Fiona's taking it hard too. Though I'm sure Adam was just waiting for the right moment to tell her, all in all, he lied. He broke her trust, a trust she isn't able to give easily because of past occurrences." At this moment Holly J really wanted to slap Drew. Although they didn't know what she really meant at the end, she did. After the Bobby incident, things had really been shaken and finding out the love of her life had been keeping a secret, a gender secret no less, had hit her like a wrecking ball. She didn't know how she would recover from this.

"Hey, its her that didn't accept him!"

"How would you feel if you found out that your love of your life was hiding a secret from you like this! I know that Adam meant to tell her but Fiona didn't know. She's hurt too. It's not all about Adam." And with that she stormed away, heals clicking all the way.

Drew let out a puff. "Man, what's her deal?" he asked, dumbfounded on how this all played out.

Jenna rolled her eyes. "She's right. As much as this is Fiona's fault, Adam's to blame just as much."

Drew got out of his seat. "Whatever." He didn't want to believe that. He knew the truth. It was all that skank's fault and he'd make her pay. He'd make her see what she truly did.

* * *

Outside the Cafeteria, near her locker, Fiona was sobbing. As much as she didn't want to be seen weak, she couldn't help it. Not only was she hurt but had she truly seen what damage hurting Adam did to him, she never would have said what she had said, at least the way she said it.

It was true, still, that Fiona was extremely hurt. She still loved him but he hurt her in a way not even Bobby could hurt her. Bobby inflicted physical abuse that carried on. With her families help it eventually went away, as much as a scar could, but with Adam...things would never be the same. At least she never truly loved Bobby the way she loved him.

Or her.

She still didn't know.

In her heart she knew that he was a he, despite his physical form but at this point, she didn't know what to think. There were too many factors to count out and her breaking heart was clouding her judgment. She just didn't know what to do anymore. Even her empty bottle of liquor couldn't heal her from this.

* * *

Around the corner Drew watched Fiona cry. He wanted to storm at her, yell at her, even hit her perhaps but seeing the free tears fall, stopped him. He knew that he was acting irrationally but seeing his brother hurt...angered him. He couldn't tolerate anyone picking on Adam and she had done so much worse than that, but, but it seemed so did Adam.

As much as he hated to believe it, Adam was as much as fault as Fiona was.

How he hated that Holly J was right.

He had a lot of fixing up to do if anything was going to be alright again.


	7. Repercussions

**Author's Note: Well, I finished this chapter. I like this one as it shows just the damage caused by everyone's actions. I hope you enjoy. I really love the characters in this. Please review and tell me what you think. I can't wait for the next episode of Degrassi but am sad there is less of Adam, though I do love Holly J and all that, but still. I am getting AWS - Adam Withdrawal Syndrome.**

**Read and Review**

**~Penbrook

* * *

**The next few days were rough on the Torres brothers. Drew kept trying to initiate contact with Adam while Adam sought to avoid him at all cost. He went as far offering to help his father with work in the office. Even his mother was starting to notice things.

"Okay Drew," she said, a few days after the incident in the cafeteria. Both brothers had an unspoken agreement not to tell their mother about anything. She had an overprotective attitude that resulted in many humiliations over the years. Both wanted to avoid that as much as Adam wanted to avoid Drew. "What's going on with you and Adam?" She had noticed the quietness around the house, even more so. After Adam and Fiona had broken up, he was a lot more sullen but this was taking it too far. The house was practically a walking corpse, from what she observed.

"What do you mean?" Drew asked, peeking up from his half soggy cereal. He really didn't want to get into this.

"You know what I mean Andrew." she noted sharply, using the 'Don't you dare avoid this' glare. "What is going on with you and your brother?"

The harshness in her voice made Drew wince. He really didn't want to tell her but he feared the repercussions of lying even more. Everyone knew how bad Audra Torres could be. Living with her was far worse. He gulped before speaking. "Er...I sort of said some things in the cafe a few days ago that Adam didn't like." He knew that wouldn't hold off his mother but he just really didn't want to do this. Even if he did stall enough time, it wouldn't be the end of the conversation.

Seeing to read her son's mind, Audra slammed her hand down hard on the table, causing the liquids to shiver. "Cut the crap Andrew and stop beating around the bush or so help me I will ground you for the rest of the school year and the summer to come."

Drew sighed before replaying all that had happened, from his first encounter with Fiona to his last.

"I really messed up mom." he admitted, not daring to look into the eyes of disappointment. Adam was bad enough but his own mother? That was just brutal.

Audra just merely sighed. She knew that Drew had messed up, big time, but what was she supposed to do? Scold him? No, she practically agreed with him wholeheartedly but she knew that if she told him _that _than he'd never learn how to handle tough situations correctly. She herself wanted to slap the girl who broke his son's heart but she couldn't. She was an adult and couldn't do that to a mere child. She now had to teach her son the same thing.

"Look Drew, we all know how much Adam was hurt but that doesn't mean that you can go yelling at the girl. Especially not about his past turmoils," she said, talking about the burning. Just thinking of that made her wince. It was why she first started to truly try to accept Adam as a boy and not a girl. If she couldn't have her daughter at all, Adam was a second best. She loved her child, male or female and she couldn't stand to see him hurt. She couldn't stand to see him hurt, again either but she knew she had to let him handle it this time. "And as much as I hate to agree with the girl, she was right." Drew perked up, listening more intently. He couldn't believe what he was hearing.

She held up her hand, indicating to let her finish. "Adam was wrong to not tell her in the beginning. Woman can't be in a relationship without trust and truth and with what happened in her past relationship...well, I don't blame her for feeling betrayed. Now, what she did to Adam wasn't anymore right than what he did to her but the point stands, both made equal mistakes both need to deal with it on their own."

Drew nodded bitterly. "But I bet Fiona doesn't have to deal about burning..." he muttered. "No, all she has to worry about is her fucking social status!"

"Language!" she reminded her eldest son. Boys and their mouths...

"And I get that Adam has at this point more issues to deal with but that doesn't mean Fiona doesn't have any." Audra said.

Drew snorted. "Yeah right. She's probably having a glass of champagne with her rich new boyfriend, not even caring about Adam and what he's dealing w-"

His comment was cut off by the phone. He went out of the room briefly to pick it up.

"Torres residence."

Drew came back with a depressed look.

"What's wrong?" she asked worriedly. One minute he was going on and on about how Fiona messed up Adam's life and now he looked as if he regretted it all.

Drew sighed. "Guess you were right. Adam isn't the only things having to worry about things."

Audra cocked her eyes.

"Fiona's in the hospital, alcohol poisoning behind the wheel." he remarked as Audra gasped. "They were calling Adam, as he was on her ICOE and the closest one to her...guess they didn't get the memo." he laughed bitterly. He had wanted her to feel the pain Adam was feeling. Guess he got his wish after all. If only it didn't have to be from that way. "Passed out behind the wheel, luckily not on a highway. Some guy called 911. They're evaluating her now...I need to go." he said, still in slight shock. He had not expected to get that call. "Mom," Audra looked up, "Call Adam." And with that Drew Torres was out the door.


	8. Twin Moments

**Author's Note: Hey readers, so glad that you guys are enjoying the story. I love writing these and it's so much fun! I hope that you enjoy this next chapter. I worked hard on it. Hope you like the bond that I gave for the two main characters of this chapter.**

**Please review. It would mean the world to me if I got even _MORE _reviews that the prequel to this story. So yeah.**

__**Penbrook**

Fiona woke up groggy, to the blaring lights above her. She squinted her eyes, trying to make sense of things. Her head pounded, only to get worse as she tried to sit up. A beeping noise caused her to glare at whatever was the cause.

She turned her head as she saw a sleeping figure. "De-Declan?" she asked, though it only came out as a horse whisper. "Declan?" she spoke louder, though it was still soft.

Declan shook a bit as he lifted his head from the side of her bed, near her ankles. He too, groaned. "Fi?" he asked, his eyes a bit blotchy. "Fi, thank God you're awake!" he praised as he sat up and leaned down to hug her as tightly as he could, without hurting her further.

"What happened?" she asked, after releasing him. Her eyes were wide, with confusion. Last thing she remembered was being in the car _Lights blaring, loud noises, shouting, darkness - _then nothing.

"You were in an accident," Declan said as he started to explain her predicament. "You passed out, DUI. Luckily you were near the side and was able to stop the car. A car passing by saw your face to the steering wheel and called 911."

Fiona looked to her brother in shock. She didn't remember any of this. "Are you sure?" she crocked. Declan nodded.

"Why Fi?" he asked in a hurt voice. "Why start drinking again. I thought you were happy with Adam." He noticed the wince she made at the brought up of her ex. "What happened? What did he do?" Declan asked, suddenly angry. How dare someone drive her sister to this! Hadn't she already been through enough? Now Declan had only met Adam once, and a few times on the phone and from what he could tell, Adam was as devoted to Fiona as he was. He just didn't understand what caused her relapse. Last time he heard from Fiona, before all of this happened, she had been in love! She even left the family event early to be with him, and now all of this?

He had followed his sister, eager to _really _meet Adam but when she never replied to his messages, he figured she was in happy land with her boyfriend. Little did he know that he would get a call earlier stating that his sister was in the hospital.

Scared him shit it did.

And so, Fiona started to explain, from the day they said I love you, to finding out his secret, to hearing Drew say how he burned himself. Everything. To say Declan was shocked would be an understatement, but what he said next shocked her more.

"So...you dumped the poor kid?" he questioned.

She stared at Declan blankly. "Of course! Dec, he hid his life from me! I don't even know who he or she really even is."

"Fi, does physical appearance really matter?" Fiona snorted. This was coming from her practically play boy of a brother. "I mean, you heard what he said, he's a boy. Whether or not his physical body say otherwise, he's still a guy, he's still Adam."

"But he lied about it."

"Did he really?" Declan asked, eyebrows raised. "I mean, from what it sounds like, telling you was hard enough. You told me yourself that he was going to tell you. Obviously he wanted you to fall in love with him, before you got to know, what was the name, Gracie?" Fiona winced again. "And obviously you still care about him, otherwise you never would have gone back to drinking." He pointed out.

Fiona sighed heavily. "You just don't get it. He hurt me. I would have been fine with everything had he told me."

"Did you tell him about Bobby the first time?" Fiona's eyes widened. "Thought so. Just like it took you a long while to tell him, which I'm sure you wouldn't had if it never went on news," Declan said, remembering what happened when the truth of her moving to Degrassi came out, "And didn't Adam still love you, regardless of your past?" She nodded. "They why are you being so hard on him?"

"I-I don't know." She said lamely.

"Look, I can't obviously know what either of you've been through but you guys both have scars from the past, and the present. And you guys need to talk." Fiona was about to protest. "I know that you don't want to but you gotta. You love him, he loves you. You are both hurt. That won't just go away by ignoring it all. Remember how much you begged me to talk to Holly J after _our _break up? And things weren't even that bad!"

Fiona nodded slowly. "Fine." she whispered. She was scared to though. She didn't want to.

"Good." he said with a small grin. He didn't want his sister to be in pain and he knew that her being with Adam was the best thing for her. Sure there were troubles that came with them being together, like any relationship, but if he knew his sister like he believed he did, her stubbornness would see things through.

He had faith in that.

Heads turned at the sound of a knock at the door. "Hello?" came a familiar voice behind it.

Declan looked confused. It wasn't Adam, nor his dad. So who could it be? But Fiona knew, and she was even more terrified than before. She knew that this was a moment she would want to avoid even more. Meeting face to face with Drew Torres.

She gulped as she nodded her head to let him in.

As the door opened, Declan excused himself to give his sister and he some space.

Fiona was practically trembling with nervousness. She knew that the probability of coming out of this was slim, even more slim than she and Adam getting back together. She knew that Drew would probably end up yelling at her more, and she couldn't blame him one bit. She deserved it. She did after all, break his brother. That kind of act was unforgivable in the eyes of an older sibling.

But she was ready to face the music.

She just hoped that she came out alive in the end.


	9. Mother Knows

**Author's Note: Hey guys, sorry for the wait. School. Yeah. Anyways, so it took me a while to write this and I really hope you enjoy it. I worked hard on it and stuff. Please forgive me for typo's. I would get a beta but honestly, too lazy too. Anyways, yeah, can't wait for next episode of Degrassi. I always thought Holly J looked nice with Fiona. Can't wait until it all plays out. Hope Adam will get through everything, as Holly J and Fiona.**

**Please review and love!**

**~Penbrook**

* * *

Adam didn't know what to feel. Not anymore. Everything in his life was shit. Shit was his life. He would have thought that by now he would have gotten used to it. He was born a girl, his parents didn't accept him, guys ragged on him, girls were sickened by him. He shouldn't had felt surprised that Fiona wouldn't too. She was Fiona Coyne for heaven's sake! Why he even bothered with her, he'd never know. He was way out of her league.

Why would any sane, hot, popular, and perfect girl love a guy like him?

A guy who couldn't even love her like she properly deserved, no less.

And even worse, he and Drew weren't even on speaking terms. He had been stupid, he knew. Drew was only trying to protect him and what did Adam do? He yelled at him. For hurting her. He had just been so angry at the situation that he didn't think to consider what his brother might feel. After all, he was getting hurt in this situation too. It wasn't just him and Fiona.

He wished he figured that out earlier.

And now, now he couldn't even fix it. It was too late. Drew must have hated him by now and it was all his fault. Not only did he lose his friends, (probably) and the love of his life, he also lost the one person who had supported him all his life.

How fucked up was that?

And now, not even burning helped release the pain he was in.

Self infliction usually helped solve everything...at least the emotional aspect of it. It helped release his emotional pain with physical pain. It made him forget why he was sad. Why he was angry. Why he was hurting. Sure it didn't fix anything but it was a great psychological morphine. It had worked all those years ago. His life must have really went down the gutter if it didn't help now.

Adam winced as he lifted the burning metal from his red and whelped looking skin. Though he felt the pain of the hot metal, it didn't stop the other pain from coming in. Why, he didn't know. All he knew was that he just wanted to forget what was apparently impossible to do.

Once again, Fate showed him just how much Fate hated him.

Adam sighed as he pocketed the item back into his box, under his bed. He was stumped at what to do. A knock at the door interrupted his thoughts.

"Yeah?" he asked, his voice horase.

"It's me." his mother called from behind the door before she came in. She gave him a sympathetic look. He hated and loved it. "Hey honey." she said in a motherly tone.

"Hey mom." he replied, suddenly interested in his shoes.

His mother came to his side as she sat on his bed, giving him an affectionate hug. Her hands brushed accidentally over his newly fresh burn. Adam hissed a bit in pain, widening his eyes. "I-I can explain." he started to say before she placed her finger to his lips.

"It's okay Adam," she said sadly, giving him another squeeze to the shoulder. "We'll get through this."

Adam looked up at his mom, surprised that she wasn't yelling or fretting over him. That caused him to grow a bit weary.

"Drew told me." she explained briefly. Understanding flashed across his face.

_Of course he did. _He thought a bit bitterly. He always did.

"Hey, hey." she scolded lightly. She had seen the look on his face and she didn't like it. "Drew didn't tell me much of anything I didn't know." He raised her eyebrow at her. "Mother knows when her baby is hurting." she said simply. "And you, my son, are hurting."

Adam tried to give her a smile but he was unable to. She was right, he was hurting.

"You know, Drew is only harsh because he loves you."

Adam sighed. He knew that already. "I know. But still...it's not his concern."

Audra rolled her eyes. "What's with you boys, always thinking they don't need others watching over them?" Adam shrugged. "Look son, Drew really is hurting. And I know you are. Talk to him."

Adam sighed heavily again as he nodded, getting up from his bed. "Where is he?" he asked.

Audra paused, pursing her lips before continuing. "At the hospital..." Adam looked at her inquisitively, "talking to Fiona." Immediate shook flashed across his face.

"_What?" _he cried. "Drew-Fiona-talking-hospital-huh?"

"Drew got a call from the hospital that Fiona is there." she said calmly.

"Why didn't you tell me before!" he cried. He could have been there for her...or better, stopped Drew from killing her.

"Drew needed to talk to her. And you need to talk to her. He's probably just about finished. You can leave to take your turn."

Adam groaned. "Mooom!" he whined. He quickly kissed her cheek before rushing out the door. He knew that he would end up either killing Drew, or killing Drew.

He was not looking forward to either.

Adam could only imagine what Drew was telling, no-screaming, at Fiona. He prayed to God that she was okay, from both whatever happened and his brother. After all that happened recently, he didn't trust the older Torres to be ten feet near her, nevertheless alone with her. Oh, killing his brother would not be fun. Would he go to jail for that?

Adam rushed to Fiona's room after asking the secretary where she was. It was there that Adam came face to face with Declan.

He was screwed. If Drew was protective, Adam was dead. Declan was worse, much worse than Drew was. And he had hurt his little sister. There was no forgiveness in that.

"Adam." he said calmly. After a few pauses he let out a grin. "I'm not going to kill you...yet." he added. Adam gulped. "But you are going to talk to my sister, after your brother does, and you will talk things through. Everything. And I better hear cries of happiness from the other side." he warned. Adam nodded, confused but relieved. Declan understood him. That, or he knew that Fiona still loved him, possibly.

"I wouldn't." he promised.

"I hope not."

The door next to them wiggled as it opened and Drew Torres came out. "Hey." he greeted Adam. "We'll talk later," he said to Adam's look. "Promise, but first, you gotta get your girl back."

Adam stared in shook as he heard what he had just said. "Thanks." he said simply before walking into a big hug.

"You're my brother. What you love, so will I." Adam smiled at that before walking into the room where the love of his life was laying.

"Hey."


End file.
